


If It Kills Me

by adorabaek



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jihoon being Jihoon, Jihoon was into older guys, M/M, Past PanWink, Past and broken NielWink, Uni life, Woojin being virgin, Woojin is an awkward math major, idk what to tag, kind of, mentioned produce 101 guys/girls, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorabaek/pseuds/adorabaek
Summary: Woojin was this cliche uni student who had a soft spot for his best friend, with a tiny bit of a crush, perhaps a little bit of love.





	If It Kills Me

**Author's Note:**

> Been years since I stop writing fanfiction because I lost my muse but now I have my TOP which is 2Park and I love them so much. They're so adorable and I'm just so sad I knew Wanna One when they're about to disband ;-; English is not my first language so please forgive me. I hope you give this a try~

People were weird, Woojin admitted it. He could begin with his next-door neighbor who always did things that produce loud sounds from their room, Woojin heard that  _thud thud thud_  way too often after the guy moved in. So he snapped at the third night just to witnessed that the guy, Kim Samuel about the same age as he was or maybe even younger, liked to do archery in his apartment hence the  _thud thud thud_ sounds.

The next strong candidate was probably his Algebra professor with such a hilarious sense of fashion; wearing dead black jacket everyday with unmatched bottom. It doesn’t like Woojin cared for fashion much because all he had in his wardrobe were everything black and dark, but he just couldn't bear it when the said professor came into the class room with bright purple skinny jeans yesterday.  _Gah_ , he was about to grow a third eye.

Luck seemed to never pick his side though as the ironic thing about him being sour about weird people was that  _his best friend_  happened to be the weirdest person he ever met in his life. Enter Park Jihoon, English major whom he met around second year in high school. The boy wore a freaking pink pajamas for their dance club when they first met, and Woojin could not pick a hint from the pink pajamas alone that Jihoon was a weird ass. Maybe he was too naive at that time, or perhaps he was way too occupied with Jihoon's pretty eyes.

Come on.

Who wouldn't agree that Jihoon had probably the most beautiful pair of eyes in the country. Woojin hadn't met many people but he knew Jihoon was gifted with his looks, that also could be the second thing that prevented Woojin to recognize Jihoon's ridiculous mustard yellow cardigan on the second day of dance club meeting. Aside from his fashion, it's really hard to pass Jihoon as a normal person because...

_"Do you have coconut in your kitchen right now?"_

"Umm, what?" Woojin blinked a few times because it's not everyday somebody asked for a coconut at 6 a.m in the morning, not to mention by phone too. He tried to look at his calendar wall - with a big G-Dragon face printed on it; he was pretty proud when he got that, mind you - and double checked the day. "Jihoon, it's Saturday morning. Why the fuck do you want coconut from me?"  

There was no answer from Jihoon and Woojin thanked dear Lord so he could go back to sleep. Well, if it's a movie, probably you would expect Jihoon knocking the door and asked for a coconut but this was real and Jihoon was beyond than that stereotype weirdo in movies, so there's no knocking, no calls, no text and it just remained a mystery why the heck he wanted coconut this Saturday morning.

He finally woke up at 11, hungry and a little bit groggy due to too many hours of sleeping. The first thing he did was boiling water for his tea and went straight to bathroom for brushing his teeth and wash his face. Woojin then took his chamomile tea from the fridge and accidentally spilled a cup on the table and dirtied his sleeveless shirt with leftover coffee.

"Park  _fucking_ Jihoon..." he hissed as the strong aroma of the caffeine drink invaded his smell. This was again Johoon's doing as the boy loved to drink coffee at Woojin's place and never bothered himself to wash the dishes. Most of Woojin's cups had stain in the bottom and it wasn't because of his chamomile tea; his tea was stainless and Woojin always washed his dishes well.

Last night was crazy, Woojin must agree. Examination weeks were coming and they had a lot of papers due before Monday. Even though they're not from the same major, Woojin always let Jihoon to do his paper work at his place. He was the good and tolerable one in this friendship and he knew Jihoon's roommate at his dorm wasn't the most cooperative person in the uni and Woojin was for once a lucky child born in a well loaded family; he lived in a two bedroom apartment with huge living room which was now used as study room for both of them.

Woojin had asked Jihoon to live in his place instead but the uni's regulation didn't like the idea as Jihoon was a scholarship student and he must lived in the dorm in order to not lose any of his benefits. He was a really independent guy, Jihoon. His parent could afford the fee for his study but then again, Jihoon has a really strange mind and refused to take any money from his parent and did a lot of part time since high school.

Barista, cashier, you name it... Woojin was sure Jihoon pretty much had tried everything. He even babysat Yerim, Woojin's younger sister, once when Woojin had a competition in Japan. Maybe that's also why Woojin kinda had a soft spot for Jihoon. Well, he did have a soft spot for Jihoon.

Maybe a little crush too.

Or he might be in love, who knew?

Woojin was not straight and Jihoon was a beautiful man and totally his type; well, he's everybody's type when it came to looks. But he and Jihoon would never happen. Not because Jihoon was straight but because they're just way too best-friendly and nothing could break it. Also, Jihoon's past boyfriends were all nothing like Woojin. Yes, Jihoon was gay but they still could never be together. 

 

 

 

"Hey, what is the square root for forty nine again?" 

They were at Starbucks when Jihoon suddenly asked him about Math. "Huh, why do you need to know that?" He questioned back instead and Jihoon just lazily rolled his eyes. "You're an English student, you don't need square root of forty nine for your Mark Twain paper, Jihoon."

"Just give me a damn number, you prick!" 

"Fine, it could be 7 or -7."

Jihoon looked like he was confused for a minute and then tilted his head to the right, just a hint of him to ask another question. "Why?"

Snorting with a small laugh of  disbelief, Woojin stared at his friend who held his expression well even though Woojin was practically judging him with stingy eyes right now. "Are you asking why it's 7 or you asking why it could be positive 7 or the minus one?"

"Ugh, whatever. 7 is the answer then." He then typed something on the phone before locking his phone again and back to his English paper, that was when Woojin realized that Jihoon needed the answer for someone else. Sensing ten eyeing game, the brunette then paid full attention to his best friend again. "I'm doing this Math tutor so shut it." 

The laughter came as expected and Jihoon looked around to see other students glaring at them, Woojin laughed like a freaking hyena. 

"Oh my God, can you shut up? Everybody's looking!" Jihoon hit him hard on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" 

"Daniel  _hyung_  needs to tutor his nephew so I volunteered because I'm such a good boyfriend and he's not good with numbers." The brunette explained with a shade of pink on both of his cheeks; he always do that when he talks about Daniel which was his current boyfriend right now.

"You're whipped for him and you're not even good at Math." Woojin commented and Jihoon should agree because the last time Jihoon opened a Math book was when he accidentally took the younger's Calculus II book last semester. Woojin was the one who's good in Math or had to because he studied Applied Math of Math and Science Department.  

However, the brunette shook his head. He paused for seconds to look at his paper before saying something again. "He's even worse than me at Math, Woojin-ah. He's a PE teacher. He must has forgotten everything because he's—"

"Old."

"—an adult." Finished Jihoon, narrowing his eyes as he didn't like Woojin's choice of word on describing his boyfriend. "Daniel  _hyung_  is not that old, we're just young."

"We're nineteen, Jihoon. Daniel is like twenty five something." Woojin pointed out. "Why all of your boyfriends much older anyways?" He asked, a lot softer in tone. "Why do you attracted to old guys."  _Why aren't you attracted to me?_

Jihoon sighed and stopped reading, but he didn't move his view on the thick novel he's reading. Anyone looking at his direction would know that he wasn't paying attention to the novel and had something in his mind instead. "That's not the point and we've talked about this."

"It is, though. If you're not dating Daniel then you don't have to know about square root of forty nine."

"You know I like older guy because they're independent, stable and not horny teenagers like us who just wants sex and get emotionally jealous for no reason." Jihoon told and looked straight into his best friend's eyes. "I don't want another Guanlin".

Oh well, Woojin almost forgot about Guanlin. A Chinese ex-change student back in their final year in high school, he was such a personality really. Always got jealous especially when it came to Woojin. And Jihoon was having a hard time back then. 

"Yeah, how could I forget that. He told everyone in school that you were cheating on him with me, God! It was such an awful memory." And angry Guanlin was dangerous, he made false accusation and told everything with legs about it. It was a mess and Woojin didn't understand what the hell Jihoon saw on him; sure he was handsome, tall, had such a charming smile, with deep voice and looked like a prince with their school uniform.  "Thank God, nobody believed him."

"That's because everyone in school knows we're best friend and we're platonic and it will stay platonic until we die."

"I think that's just Guanlin."

"Nope, remember Jinyoung from Economy's class? We met during our first year party?"

"Oh, that guy with a small face who dates Daehwi right now?"

"Yeah, we went to a date back in first semester and he went all possessive mode on knowing I change my clothes in your room." Jihoon pouted, he always did when he mentioned about this topic. 

"Jihoon, who wouldn't when you literally told him that you're naked in my room?" Woojin tried his best to hold his laugh because he didn't want to create another scene here otherwise that nice barista named Jisung would kicked them out. 

"Well, excuse me. Isn't that a really good proof that we're so platonic at the point we have no physical attraction while we've seen each other naked whatsoever. He just needed to trust me, man! Trust is number one in a relationship." Woojin could only smiled at his best friend. "We're like brother, or twins... I don't know, man. It's just strange to think us in a romantic way."       

"Yeah."

"Beside older men are a lot hotter."

"Says the one who against dating horny bastards."

"Oh, fuck you! Admit it, Daniel  _hyung_  is hot!"

"Uh, you forget that he's not my type.

Jihoon snorted. "You don't have a type. You don't even date, Woojin-ah. Question is, are you even attracted to anyone?"

"Yes, I do."

"Like what?"

_You._   _'Like you'_  was what Woojin liked to answer but he saved it for later or never, just like the same other day when Jihoon asked this particular question. The truth was, he's really good at hiding his feelings because Jihoon was a really smart guy. He was quick at sensing people's emotion around him and it's almost impossible he didn't notice Woojin's if the younger guy was really good at this whole pretending thing. 

"See? You can't even answer it. Woojin, serious question here, are you asexual?" And this earned a hard punch oh the arms, Woojin laughed seeing pained expression on Jihoon's pretty face.

"Me being single doesn't mean I'm impotent."

Jihoon made a face. "Asexual doesn't necessarily mean you're impotent. You're just not into boys or girls, no physical attraction."

"Huh, whatever. I can assure you I'm not asexual and I can also confirm I'm bi and will never bottom for anybody, just saying."

"Oh, even no to your G-Dragon  _hyung_?"

"G-Dragon is not even a top, are you fucking kidding me?"

"So you've imagined him bottom for you before?"

"Don't put words on my mouth, Park." Woojin hissed as a warning for Jihoon to stop teasing but the smudge face didn't seem to stop getting even smudgier.  

"You like sassy boy like GD  _hyungnim_ , I see."

"Fuck you, Park!"

"Umm, Woojin-ssi, Jihoon-ssi?" The barista finally snapped even though he still managed to smile through his piercing eyes. 

  

 

Final Exam for their third semester almost finished, so there's a lot of party invitations from several houses, clubs, and individually. Woojin was not really a party kind of guy but he loved free food and free drink, so he never turned down somebody asking him to come. Daehwi was the first one holding a party in his house, telling that his Mom is all the way in L.A so they could stay until the next morning. And that junior always had the best food. 

"I can't go." Jihoon stated, barging into his apartment with two novels, one laptop on his hands. He let out a heavy sigh as he sit down on the couch. "I have this final paper to submit, I need a push for my grade in this subject."

Woojin refused to let out whatever on his mind right now and chose to look at Jihoon's laptop screen. "Aren't those the same novels from last time? I thought you finished the paper already?"

"I did, but this is optional. I need to increase my grade."

"What did you get with your final exam?"

"90%."

"What the fuck, why would you need to do this? That's pretty good grade."

"I need to keep my GPA stable, Woojin. I always got 96% at least for my final exam, this subject I only managed to gain 90%."

"But it's a high score, though."

"Not high enough."

"Whatever, but don't expect me to join your study because Daehwi's kimchi nachos are waiting for me." Jihoon only nodded, Woojin took a last glance before fixing his shoelaces , ready to go, ready to have his free foods and get some booze. "Don't use my favorite cup for your coffee this time, Jihoon." Another nod and that's a hint for Woojin to leave.

The party, as expected, was loud and full of music. Woojin danced a couple of time because he simply liked to move his body, plus he needed distraction after Exam week. He's not sure about this semester because the subjects were getting a lot harder and harder, however he's not under anyone's review and he doubted his parent would care much about graduating cum-laude. Woojin just needed a rest.

"You need a new boyfriend," Daehwi, as a host, had the privilege to throw any words he wanted or he just simply Daehwi. That guy was always on Woojin's nerve. 

"What are you on about, I don't even have a boyfriend. Or girlfriend."

The boy made a funny look. "Jihoon? You came without him, I thought you guys broke up."

"Uh, we're not together  _together._ " 

"Whatever, so you're single and ready to mingle?"

Woojin was about to leave this kid and much his nachos alone, but Daehwi had always his ways on people and he didn't know how he ended up being introduced to a bunch of girls. "This is Doyeon, from Med School. Doyeon, this is Woojin from Math Department."

"Aren't Med students busy and have no time for parties?" Having no filter at all, Woojin just spluttered out the first thing he had in mind whenever he met a Med student in parties. However Doyeon didn't seem to be offended at all, she just laughed with her friends.

"I can spare my time for handsome guys like you."

"Uhh..." Woojin knew he was awkward but he didn't know he was this awkward, in the end he just eyed Daehwi as a signal for help so the host could bring something up to avoid this whole situation going on. The conversation quickly moved to Hakyeon as the L.A guy managed to pull him into the group, making Woojin slowly discarded and went back to the snack table.

"Not a fan of girls?" 

"Fuck off, Dae - oh sorry, I thought you're Daehwi." Woojin cleared his voice when he knew it wasn't Daehwi talking to him. "You sounded like him, I mean not like you talk like him, it's just your voice is similar with him." 

Great. A new way to embarrass yourself. The stranger only smiled and looked at him with fond eyes. "You're cute."

"Excuse me?"

Then the other laughed. Now, he definitely didn't sound like Daehwi. "I'm Hyungseob, sophomore majoring Psychology."

"I never met you before."

"Ahh, I don't really like party."

"Same."

"Also I live very far away from uni so I have to take bus, I don't have my driving license yet." 

"Ah, but you're here now." Woojin commented before taking a full shot of clear liquid he found there and regretted it immediately. "That was strong."

"It was." Hyungseob agreed.

"Yeah? You tried one?" 

This time, the guy shook head and Woojin could see his hair was bouncing the same direction. "Nah, I just assumed by the way you reacted to be honest, your reaction is so strong. I can read you like a book." Before Woojin had the chance to say anything back in response, Hyungseob continues his story about moving in to the campus area. It turned out the guy rented the same apartment as Woojin's, making them both excited as Woojin hadn't found anyone from his uni living there. They exchanged numbers and Kakao Talk id.

"Woah, have a new target already?" 

Woojin was soon greeted with another question  by Daehwi, no surprise, as soon as Hyungseob left him to talk with his fellow friends. "What target?"

"Now I could totally tell your type."

"I'm not sure I'm following..."

"Cute. Pretty eyes... pretty lips. Clear skin...."

Woojin just rolled his eyes and ignored the rest of Daehwi's rubbish. 

It was already 2 a.m when he's back, Jihoon was already sleeping on the couch. His laptop was off so he must had fallen asleep for awhile. The younger was going to slap his face to wake the brunette but decided not to because it's Jihoon and it's hopeless to wake a sleeping Jihoon. The guy slept like a rock. Dead and heavy.

"What am I gonna do with you, Jihoon-ah."

In the end, Woojin had to gather all of his strength to carried his best friend to his room. After that, he slept like a baby next to Jihoon. 

 

 

 

Woojin woke up the next morning with a bunch of texts from Jihoon, informing him that he left early to submit his essay paper and unnecessary short text of telling him to wake up. He gave up in the eleventh text after awhile because obviously no response from Woojin because the younger was still sleeping at 9 a.m. It's Sunday and Woojin was a little tired from last night's party; or more like  _his heart_  was.

Knowing Jihoon could be really pushy and whiny, Woojin made sure he checked his refrigerator first before he washed himself. Preparing for the worst even though the brunette didn't say anything about having lunch at Woojin's place today, Woojin just didn't want to deal yet again with angry and upset Jihoon complaining about the lack of foods in his kitchen.

Sighing exaggeratedly, Woojin was hopeless when he saw there was nothing he had right now except for one sad looking egg that was probably from last two weeks. He better throw it off and get ready to go to nearby grocery shop.

After taking a quick shower and brush his teeth well, Woojin's off to his local farmer's market and prayed to God that it was open in Sunday morning. The last time he went there the owner told that they're usually closed on the weekend. But Woojin was not Woojin if he's not getting distracted. The first thing he saw was a coffee shop so his brain was suddenly forgetting this whole SOS shopping thing and directed him to buy a chocolate muffin.

"Hey!"

It was Hyungseob from the party and he was dressed like was there for a date, however Woojin didn't see anyone with him as he spotted the guy was the only person there except himself and the Barista. "Oh hey, I thought you're moving next week?" Woojin remembered Hyungseob telling him about moving to this area.

"Yes, it was the original plan. But knowing that I'll have a week faster to see you everyday, I'll pack everything and have my people to deliver it this morning. My stuffs are on the way." He ended his words with a wink and Woojin was a little taken a back by that not so subtle flirting. He wasn't seeing things, right? Because Hyungseob sounded like he was flirting with him. "Oh God, I've been told about being bold before. Am I doing it too strong again?" As if he saw the puzzled look on Woojin's face, Hyungseob quickly elaborated himself.

With a chuckle, Woojin nodded. "Yeah kind of, it's not everyday cute guy like you flirt with me." Oh God, Woojin didn't believe himself that he actually attempted to flirt back. He didn't intentionally to do so, he just didn't have any filter and Hyungseob was indeed a cute guy. Not Jihoon kind of cute because-- _oh fuck_ , Jihoon! Woojin then remembered he had to go to shop.

"Hey, are you okay? You look--"

"Ah, sorry. I have to go! Bye!" Then he was out, muffin-less and a little bit breathless.

He managed to escape from Hyungseob and purchased several fresh produces to stock for a week although he had to find another shop as the farmer's market owner wasn't lying about operating on weekdays only. Fortunately, there's a family market in the next block which was surprisingly still pretty close to his apartment building. He bought a dozen of eggs, white rice, two packs of spring opinion, chicken, sausage and bananas.

Woojin was on the way home when he remembered that he didn't buy milk and veggies but it looked like it was almost noon and Woojin stupidly forgot to bring his phone with him; his debit card was the only thing he brought with him. Afraid of Jihoon arriving sooner, Woojin thought he can survive without milk and veggies so he continued walking.

"Where the fucking hell were you?" As expected, Jihoon was already in the living room, annoyed and face as red as tomato. "You can't even look at your phone?!" He kept shouting and Woojin could see his eyes were watering. "I called you million times! And--fuck!"

Oblivious as ever, Woojin didn't know what's going on because suddenly Jihoon was crying. "Hey, hey... what happened?" He dropped his shopping bag and stepped closer to put his hands on both of Jihoon's shoulder as an attempt to calm his best friend.

Sniffling, Jihoon blurted out something Woojin couldn't understand before crying even harder. He hugged Woojin and said even more of incoherent words, this time Woojin was the one wanting to cry as he's really clueless right now.

"Okay, I'm not sure I understand that but you can continue crying, I guess..."

"Daniel  _hyung_  broke up with me, you fucker! Pay attention next time!" Woojin wasn't sure he wanted to laugh, be sad, or feel offended about it. The news was  not shocking as he could suspect this would happen because Jihoon and Daniel never looked like a couple together. They looked like they're brothers or even father-son? Not to mention all they do together was making out and having sex; so much about having mature relationship, huh.

"Okay."

"He even admitted that he cheated on me when I was on my study trip with his student!" Jihoon let go and was back to sit and hugged the pillowy cushion this time. "I don't even like him that much but the fact that he's so casual about it makes me mad! He was smiling when he basically told me the story of him tongue-fuck his student's asshole like what the fuck?"

"Ew, what the fuck indeed. Did he do that to you too?" Woojin scrunched his nose in discomfort because honestly, that's  _TMI_  and he didn't really need to know the detail about Jihoon's sex life. "Actually, do not answer that. Nope."

Jihoon seemed like he didn't have the will to answer anyways as he continued to ramble about how much he hated the situation he's on. That he would never date a teacher again, that he swore he didn't even have connection with his recent ex-boyfriend and there's only physical attraction and it's not worth fighting.

Woojin pulled out something on his pocket before setting himself behind Jihoon and handed him a chocolate bar. "For you," he said, thanking God he picked that when checking out his groceries earlier when he saw a small smile on Jihoon's face.

Mumbling a soft 'thank you' with his hoarse voice, Jihoon then ate the snack with much force and chew it like he was chewing bubble gum. "What?!" He snapped at Woojin who's laughing at Jihoon's collocate covered lips. "I know I look very unattractive right now but I'm heartbroken so don't judge me." He took another bite and Woojin laughed even harder at the cute sight.

"You never look unattractive, Hoonie." He whispered to himself, because Jihoon tilted his head as a hint for Woojin to say it again. "You look hilarious, stop crying." He said instead while flicking Jihoon's forehead.

"Ouch!" Jihoon pouted. "I'm hurting, Woojin. You should comfort your best friend here, not adding more pain!" He touched his hurting head and glared at Woojin.

"Alright..." Woojin moved closer and removed Jihoon's tiny fingers from his forehand and replaced with his long ones. Softly made massage motion, slowly lowering his other hand to erase the tears on Jihoon's wet cheeks before patting the skin gently. "You're gonna be okay. You always are." The words were simple yet Jihoon smiled at those.

"Thank you..." Jihoon sighed and put his head on the crook of Woojin's neck. "I'm so glad I have you, Woojin. Please stay with me forever, never get tired of me, yes?" The words were a little silly but Jihoon was a little bit silly with a twist so Woojin nodded his head. "Be my best friend forever, please..."

Woojin felt his heartbeat went rapid because  _that_  was something he couldn't promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading until the end lol I feel weird writing again so I hope the plot is not too vague. I'm planning this a twoshot!


End file.
